Dealing With Insolent Wife
LESSON # 500 FROM HOLY QUR’AN
Dealing With Insolent Wife
Surah NISAAA’ (WOMEN) - Chapter - 4)
Verses –34b of 176, Section –6/24 (Part – 5)
And as for those from whom ye fear desertion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
Wallaatii takhaa-fuuna nushuu-zahunna fa-‘izuuhunna wah-juruuhunna fil-mazaaji-‘i wazribuu-hunn. Fa-‘in ‘ata’-nakum falaa tab-guu ‘alayhinna sabiilaa. ‘Innallaaha kaana ‘A-liyyan- Ka-biiraa.
In the previous lesson, we have learnt the status of the man by the word qawwaamuuna, that is to say; the men are ruler, caretaker, monitor and in charge of the women due to being excelled by Allah Almighty and spending their wealth for providing them their necessities of life. Woman of good disposition is that who is obedient and looks after in the absence of her husband. She is not only protector of her chastity and honor but preserves also the rights, benefits, wealth, property, family and household goods of her husband.
After telling about rights and duties of both (men and women), now principles and methods of correction are being described in case of produced difficulties and badness in the matters of practical life.
Mutual coolness and misunderstanding springs up for some times, although husband and wife have all good relations between them, and it is a usual matter. Moreover, it is also possible that an obedient wife may disobey or she may have some bad habits, which may occur at any time from her. What should be the behaviour of husband in these circumstances?
Punishment for those women has been described in the verse, who disobey, abuse their husbands or have bad habits. First step of their punishment is that the husband should admonish verbally and advise them. If she does not admit it then he should be separate from her bed during sleeping. If even then, she does not agree, then last stage is to beat her. Nevertheless, the beating should not be such severe as neither the signs of beating are seen on her body, nor her any bone is broken.
We knew from it that every mistake and omission has different grade, and order of punishment is according to those grades. Beating the woman is the last stage of punishment. If the fault is very customary, then it is better to admonish instead of beating her. Moreover, beating should also be reasonable according to the grade of her mistake. It should be kept in mind in each condition that neither any bone of her body should be cracked, nor any sign of such wound should remain on her body.
Then if the women abstain from your disobedience or their bad habits after either advice or sleeping on separate bed or beating, then you should also stop punishing them. In addition, neither you should question them closely nor scrape their mistakes. Do not blame them, willing or not willing, but fear Allah Almighty. Certainly, He is ever High, Exalted, Great, Overcoming and Master of entire creatures. Remember it too that punishment of beating is not for the eminent women but for the disobedient and having bad habits.